Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The Insanity Workout: Part Two

Well, we made it.  By we, I mean me and Devin since I talked him into getting on the Insanity bandwagon too.  It was a hard sell that involved my DVRing the infomercial and forcing him to watch it before I'd put on The Daily Show.  Anyway, Month One of Insanity is now complete.

For those of you keeping score at home, yes this would mean it took us like 6 weeks to complete the first 4 weeks of the program.  That's because during the 4th week we added up all of the workouts we'd had to skip for various reasons and realized we'd missed a full week's worth, so we took week 5 to play catch up.  Then I got a bad cold so even that plan got derailed. The important thing, I think, is that we have not given up. At least, not completely.

Here's my impressions of the program, week by week.

Week 1: Off With A Bang

A minute and a half into the first warm up, I felt the sense of overwhelming and immediate regret I might experience if I were to try skydiving.  I spent much of the subsequent workout pacing around the room with my hands in my hips, catching my breath as Shaun T. and his team continued hopping around on my TV screen.  I had no idea there could be so many moves with the words Power or Jump in their names.  And don't even get me started on the dreaded Power Jump. 

The program also came with an eating guide to maximize results.  Essentially, the idea is to eat 5 healthy meals a day to boost your metabolism.  Normally I overlook the flimsy eating guides that come along with home workout programs, but this time I was going to try my darndest.  I went to Trader Joe's, stocked up on chicken, vegetables, cottage cheese, eggs, and more chicken.  Then I spent a night preparing meal items for the week ahead.  I got in the habit of making a pot of slow-cook, old-fashioned oatmeal at night so that I would have it ready to nuke a bowl of it in the morning.  Can you believe it?  Could I be any more put together?

All of the physical and dietary effort was paying off.  By the end of the first week, I was all, "I think I've lost ten pounds! (Actual pounds lost: 0) I feel so toned!  I have so much energy!  I sing the body electric!"

Week 2: In Which My Life Found Out Where I Was Hiding And Came After Me, Demanding I Pay Back All The Time I Owed

How I managed Week 1 is an inexplicable phenomenon.  By Week 2, things were going about how I expected them to.  I had to do some work on Tuesday so I had to skip that night's workout.  Then I had dinner plans on Wednesday, so another workout went out the window.  I didn't have time to go grocery shopping so I lacked the supplies needed to maintain my 5 meal a day menu.  And eating all of those meals was something of a project in and of itself.  Making oatmeal was one thing but have you ever noticed how long it actually takes to eat oatmeal during a hectic morning routine?

So, The Insanity Program and I reached something of an understanding.  I would diverge from the calendar and meal program as much as needed to keep my...a-hem... sanity, and I would promise to cut out junk food and white bread.  And, even though the last thing I want to do after putting the baby to bed is heave and throw myself around the living room, I'd do it anyway.  Because I'm not a quitter!

Week 3: Oh Screw This

Here's the thing: After 3 weeks of this madness I'd expected to lose at least one pound.  So what gives?  Every night, I'd test Devin's resolve.  Throwing my head back and dragging my feet, I'd whine, "I don't feel like doing this.  It's not even working and it's so hard."
"Oh no you don't.  You got me into this we're not stopping now."

Week 4:  Back In The Saddle Again

If I were to have a personal trainer, he or she would probably say something like, "All this negativity you're carrying around... THAT's what's weighing you down.  That's why you aren't dropping pounds."

In Week 4, I started trying to look at the positive side of this experience.  I could now make it through the whole warm up without stopping.  This maybe doesn't seem like it should be an accomplishment, but it is.

Also, I think it's a good thing Devin and I found something to do together aside from watching TV while one or the other or both of us fall asleep on the couch.

On Monday we did the first workout of Month Two.  It was twenty minutes longer than any workout in Month One.   And at one point, Shaun T. introduced a new move that had us both exclaiming "What?!" at the exact same time, with the same pitch and volume.  I was just starting to be able to get through these workouts with minimal breaks.  And now... this?

Discouraged though I was, I will say that as I was standing in the kitchen later that night, trying to remember why I'd just walked in there (it was to empty the dishwasher, I concluded), I caught my reflection in the mirror in the dining room.  There was a mysterious shadow on my shoulder.  Turning into the light, I finally realized what I was looking at.  A muscle.  A real one.  A new one.

And then, this morning, I stepped on the scale after avoiding it since Week 3 and discovered I'd lost five pounds!  Holy shnikes, it worked!  I've never lost so much as a pound on purpose in my whole life.

Let's see if this can motivate me to finish up the program.  Just a few weeks to go.